Story published in Hindu Methroplus on May 9, 2011
By Prema Manmadhan
The Day After Mother's Day, it's back to routine. Yesterday, most mothers felt very important and motherhood sat pretty on women. The day brings mixed feelings for a section of mothers and their children, who belong to minority groups. Of course the vast number of mothers and children who come under the BPL (Below the Poverty Line) section that are unaware of the several ‘days' that have found entry into the commercial calendar of events. Every day for them is a struggle and every day, they probably think of their mothers, either to inveigle some cash out of them, or lovingly share some delicacy received from people who practise charity on special days, like death anniversaries.
One group the vast majority of us forget on Mother's Day is the adopted children and foster mothers in the world, some of whom probably care more for their children than biological mothers, for the yearning has been intense and painful till the bundle of joy reaches home, post court appearances, and attendant hassles. For these mothers, justice has to be ‘seemed to be done', not only done, and affection cannot be just felt, it has to be demonstrated, for true love apparently did not travel via the umbilical cord. (Anyway, giving birth alone does not a mother make. Bringing up a child is hundredfold tougher and rewarding).
Adopted love
Says a mother with an adopted daughter, “My daughter has two birthdays, one, the date which the orphanage gave us and the other, the day she was brought home.” Her entire being is consumed with the welfare of her daughter to the extent that neighbours feel she has ‘spoilt' her.
The day she told her daughter she was adopted remains a scar, a partly healed wound in her heart. But this mother and daughter celebrate life with gusto, for the present. Mother's Day, for this daughter, probably brings in mixed feelings, on the one hand, a doting mother and on the other hand, a mother somewhere, who gave up her daughter for some unknown reason, perhaps poverty, perhaps a jilted lover or maybe for ten different reasons. And until the ghost of this uncertainty is exorcised by the certainty of the present, good sense and peace cannot prevail. To this section of children , let us dedicate our thoughts and perhaps the next Mother's Day.
Which brings us to the next minority in question: Mothers who have had to part with their babies for some unknown reason. What were their thoughts on Mother's Day? Would that be a day to curse fate and wonder about the gift that was rejected? Like a lottery ticket that just flew away in the wind and could not be pursued because society was standing guard? This day brings in scathing memories to this minority group.
Irreparable loss
Mothers who have lost their children form another group. When children lose their mothers, it's Nature's order, but when mothers lose children, nothing can compensate the loss. An entire population mourned the loss recently of singer Chitra's daughter. To this mother and the others, Mother's Day may be sad, but it also brings in happy memories of their children, something to cherish and many silver linings in the cloud.
This is a reminder to ordinary mothers to enjoy their status and not fret about their child's marks in social studies or Math and for the ordinary child to count his/her blessings instead of pouting and throwing tantrums, not only on Mother's Day but 24/7 round the year.
