Sunday, October 7, 2012
Leprosy sanatorium, Nooranad
“Unnunni?” I call out.
“P C Unnunni,” the handsome 102 year old corrects me, sitting up in bed. Handsome, because a centenarian cannot possibly be this good looking or optimistic even in the best of circumstances. And this is the Kerala Government Leprosy Sanatorium at Nooranad, Alappuzha District, Kerala, where Unnunni, the oldest inmate, was brought by his father, when he was a strapping young man.
He has been here ever since. He cannot walk as well as he did a year ago, but his memory is enviably sharp. He rattles off, with a toothless smile, a long list of the superintendants of the sanatorium, most of whom he remembers with affection. Unnunni came here not long after the sanatorium was set up in 1934 when it was Travancore, before the State of Kerala came into being. Today, thanks to the National Leprosy Eradication programme, there are no leprosy patients as such in the sanatorium, but the 236 inmates have nowhere to go, so they live here, often healthy, sometimes with other ailments and mainly with the damage done by leprosy before their nomenclature changed to ‘cured leprosy patients’.
Unnunni is the best representative of this tribe of children of a lesser God.
He loves to lie in bed, amidst his wardmates. By his bedside is a Boost bottle. He was the ‘injector’ (sic) at the sanatorium for decades. “He was taught to give injections to the patients at a time when it was difficult to get employees. Now there are many patient-employees,” says Dr J Shirley, Superintendant of the sanatorium.
“The disease must have been in its early stages, for he has no physical handicap,” says Ismail Kunju, convenor of the Patients Welfare Committee, (Number A350, he elaborates) who came here as an eight year old, when he was sent out of class for being afflicted with leprosy. His fingers are clawed and he has a leg amputated, but he walks fast, with his Jaipur foot, a certain fire raging in his 60-year old frame, almost strident, in his quest for a better life for the cured leprosy patients.
“There was a time when we were 1,500 and the place was brimming with life. They used to say it was Kochu Keralam’ (Small Kerala),” reminisces Ismail, with a sense of déjà vu that seemed eerie. Ismail, along with Gowri Antharjanam, 74, in the female ward, have been conferred the tag of actors too. In Aswamedham, (a 1967 Malayalam movie on the social problems of leprosy patients), Ismail and Gowri played bit roles, as the movie was shot in the sanatorium.
This gated community also had its high moments when Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi visited it, the inmates say with pride.
Of the 96 women in the sanatorium, Panchali Amma is the oldest. “92, yes, 92,” reiterates the fair aristocratic lady, as she ate rice gruel and pappad. In her spotlessly clean white blouse and dhoti, Panchali Amma seemed almost out of place. Her husband brought her here ‘years and years ago’ and he too stayed on, ‘unable to get out of the sanatorium for fear of the stigma’, till he died, she says.
“With the wonder multi-drug therapy that began showing results in the late eighties, there was no need to admit patients in the sanatorium. New cases became out patients and within six months, they can be cured, if they take their medicines regularly,” Dr Shirley says. Even so, cases that test positive are few and far between, usually relapses.
The 138-acre facility has 236 inmates only. So, most of the 45 male wards and 15 female wards are shut down today. The Patients Cooperative Society, which farmed on the campus, is less active now, for there are fewer able-bodied inmates. There are small patches of tapioca and banana plants, but much of the sanatorium area lies wild.
But the place bustles with khadi clad men when elections are announced with promises galore, says Ismail with a snigger. After all, 236 votes can make a difference to a politician’s future. But every year, the number of inmates comes down. Reason: Deaths. The downward trend threatens to snowball into a zero soon.
The focus has shifted fully to rehabilitation from cure and that needs no hospitalisation or isolation.
No one harbours the leprosy bacilli per se in the sanatorium, yet living with the damage done by the disease is heart breaking, with sores that refuse to heal and stumps for limbs. Hope is dawning, though, in the latest developments in clinical trials at the Department of Virology, Kings Institute of Preventive Medicine, Chennai. Called amnion therapy, amnion tissue, from placenta, rich in stem cells, was preserved and bound on old wounds of leprosy patients. The results have been encouraging. But it will be too late for Unnunni, Ismail, Panchali Amma, Gowri Antharjanam and friends to reboot and get on with life.
This was written nearly a year ago. I wonder if Unnunni is alive, and Panchali amma.....
Prema Manmadhan
Thursday, October 4, 2012
K J Yesudas caricature show
It was a nice gathering, all who just wanted to be part of the shared happiness. It's always like that at The Orthic Creative Centre that Kaladharan lovingly keeps afloat. There were two Yesudases, one, the singing sensation and the other, the cartoonist veteran. There was more for the lucky crowd. Toms, whose Boban and Molly are like siblings to two or three generations.
The coffee table book that was brought out with caricatures of Yesudas, the singer was launched after the short and sweet speeches. This was the occasion for which the packed hall waited.
The Cartoonists Academy and Kaladharan must be thanked for bringing them together and for making it all so homely, with chai and smiles. Yesudasan (cartoonist)came out with his humour armoury (he calls himself, the Yesudas who does not sing!)and spoke of the time the rumour was floated that both Yesudases had died. He spiced it with the expressions he saw etc. He chose to call Yesudas, the singer Dasettan though he was much older, he said, but the reason was not clear. Yesudas, on the other hand, spoke of the time he drew a cartoon, once,in anger, of head load workers carrying the body of a man who had four sons. They refused to let the sons carry the body, for the head load workers thought it was their job! Of course he sang four lines of the religious harmony song. And when he left, he told me and Pradeep again about the cartoon he had drawn, of the headload workers..etc..It was the first time I met him. Pradeep just introduced me but I of course felt that I had known him all along!
Thanks, Kaladharan, for making this possible. One can't even say his is a no-profit-no-loss job of love, because I think it's mostly a loss venture, but then, Kaladharan doesn't care. Not for him the luxuries and big fat cars that 'artists' who are better businessmen manage to corner. Kaladharan has done more for art in Kerala than any one else in the modern era,I believe. Of the caricatures displayed, those that are in the book, they have myriad expressions, moods and some have deiva ganam looks while others have asura ganam visages! Manmadhan and me enjoyed the outing.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Hari Anand bridal designs , Kingfisher Fashion show on September 6
What was to begin at 7 pm got almost started at 8.15 pm, after herding in the 'invitees' into the packed hall at Casino Hotel, Willingdon Island. Storm, the organisers thought they were doing a favour to the invitees, while the invitees thought they were doing a favour to them. And through the potted plants, we saw the bridalwear. Hari Anand's designs were superb, the work done on the saris and gowns were understated and elegant. The clotheshorses were but clotheshorses. What I have against Hari though is this. All the clothes shown were either white or pale colours, suited for Christian weddings only. The few ones with borders were good, but not the kind of bridalwear that is doing the rounds in either north or south India. Perhaps he exports his stuff, ah..that's why. We had fun looking at the invitees who wore more unwearable-type clothes than the designs shown, which were all very wearable, if affordable! The havoc that mobiles with cameras can do is to be seen to be believed. The silent screams, "I wss there, I was there" that the phones recorded was irksome to others who had come to see his clothes. The showstopper, Ranjini Haridas, was a dampener. Jaded and with plastic smile, she is certainly over the hill. In fact it was strange that she was goading the audience to clap for her, as she walked round. Verdict: Clothes very good, overall show below average.
Friday, April 13, 2012
22 Female Kottayam review
Ashiq Aboo does surprise you. At every turn of the story, there is a surprise lurking in the corner, so much so that you can't even write a proper review for fear of spoiling it all for people who want to see the movie, but have not yet gone.
That's not to say that it has no flaws, but like a pucca Malayali, I will not say, 'tharakkedilla'. I loved it, not because every scene is credible but because it was excellent, sane entertainment.
An award is waiting somewhere for Rima Kallinkal. Fahad Fazil is a proven actor now, but he has to move from the urban yuppie type character to something else if he doesn't want to be typecast. In Fahad, you have an actor who isn't afraid of image, so he will do that and more. The way in which he made his comeback should be a clear indication that HE is the man who will be the real actor in the future, who isn't afraid of anything, ready to do a job as it deems fit.
For Pratap Pothen, it's a dream come back role. His character has been etched out wonderfully. So well has he played it out that merely his presence is chilling. There are a few other actors who have done very very well. I don't even want to mention the characters, because then the surprises will not be there.
Kottayam folks may not be pleased if they take it to heart, but it's movie, after all. I have a quarrel with the script in that I believe Kottayamites know their 'bha' from their 'pha'. This lapse is found in people somewhere further to the south. Also in some situations, perhaps only once, humour does fall flat as it is totally out of place.
Altogether, 22 Female Kottayam is as fresh as a daisy, full of surprises, entertaining and has really good acting. Go see it! If you are a woman, NOT to be missed at all!
Prema Manmadhan
That's not to say that it has no flaws, but like a pucca Malayali, I will not say, 'tharakkedilla'. I loved it, not because every scene is credible but because it was excellent, sane entertainment.
An award is waiting somewhere for Rima Kallinkal. Fahad Fazil is a proven actor now, but he has to move from the urban yuppie type character to something else if he doesn't want to be typecast. In Fahad, you have an actor who isn't afraid of image, so he will do that and more. The way in which he made his comeback should be a clear indication that HE is the man who will be the real actor in the future, who isn't afraid of anything, ready to do a job as it deems fit.
For Pratap Pothen, it's a dream come back role. His character has been etched out wonderfully. So well has he played it out that merely his presence is chilling. There are a few other actors who have done very very well. I don't even want to mention the characters, because then the surprises will not be there.
Kottayam folks may not be pleased if they take it to heart, but it's movie, after all. I have a quarrel with the script in that I believe Kottayamites know their 'bha' from their 'pha'. This lapse is found in people somewhere further to the south. Also in some situations, perhaps only once, humour does fall flat as it is totally out of place.
Altogether, 22 Female Kottayam is as fresh as a daisy, full of surprises, entertaining and has really good acting. Go see it! If you are a woman, NOT to be missed at all!
Prema Manmadhan
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Rathinirvedam remake
On Rathinirvedam, published in The Hindu Metroplus on June 18
By Prema Manmadhan
As I entered the multiplex screening room, all eyes followed me to my seat somewhere in the middle. Wondering if I had forgotten some part of my attire, I looked around stealthily and suddenly, there was a Eureka moment. I was the only female in the packed cinema on the first day first show to see the remake of ‘Rathinirvedam'!
I realised that even in a multiplex, catcalls can happen.
The Bharathan-Padmarajan movie of the late seventies was BOLD in that age, when soft porn sold. But this was not soft porn. It dealt boldly with a topic not publicly discussed, that Padmarajan wrote sensitively about and Bharathan made intelligently.
Comparisons
The new ‘Rathinirvedam,' under the banner of Revathi Kalamandir, is directed by T. K. Rajeevkumar. Suresh Kumar (the man behind Revathy Kalamandir) also produced ‘Neelathamara', a remake, which Lal Jose directed. But its script was rewritten by MT to include the present too.
Comparisons are always unwelcome, yet, looking at what was a topical film in 1978, ‘Rathinirvedam', which is today, a period film, can be interesting.
‘Rathinirvedam' is P.Padmarajan's script all over again, with very few changes in the dialogues: the locale has been shifted from the hilly areas to the plains. One crucial change is that the young adolescent, played by Krishnachandran, with a tell tale moustache, and shorts, has changed to a young man, wearing either a ‘mundu' or trousers, whose clean shaven face gives away his age.
While Krishnachandran's new discoveries of life and the sexual awakening in his mind looked natural, for a chap who is older, that is, Sreejith, (though he gives of his best) it hardly looks natural. The simple reason is that in the script that Padmarajan wrote, the boy is younger, adventurous adolescence personified. That's why. All those capers that the boy gets involved in, is natural for a boy that age, but looks strange in an older guy.
Svelte Shwetha
A calendar in the hero (Sreejith Vijay) Pappu's room of the Dreamgirl, Hema Malini, pronounces the period loud. The sepia tinted credits, along with a handwritten letter on the sidelines, are a great opener. Shwetha Menon, svelte and big built, with lovely long hair, too thick to be realistic, has the come hither look of ‘Rathi Chechi' but her body language is urban and the dialogue delivery is not realistic. Cut to the first ‘Rathinirvedam' and Jayabharathi's ‘naadan' beauty, her natural behaviour and dialogue delivery. The half sari on Jayabharathi looked lovely, while on Shwetha, it is more of an appendage.
The Central Travancore dialect is best spoken by Shobha Mohan who takes the role of Pappu's mother, and of course KPAC Lalitha. She used to take a cameo role in most of her husband's films and played the hero's aunt then. In the new version, she plays the heroine's mother. She is the only artiste featuring in both.
Coming to the crux of the film: the climax that made the headlines then. In an age when the Net had not taken over our lives, it was a draw for young men of all shades. These scenes were crisply picturised, with emotions dominating. The pain in Jayabharathi's face tore your heart. In the new one, the scenes linger longer, but the result is not the same. Sreejith's performance in the last scene, after the climax, deserves much credit.
Padmarajan's script is tight and every dialogue and scene has a reason. Editing out some scenes and dialogues to shorten the movie will only harm the total effect. For instance, there is a drama scene. After that an incident happens, which plays a big role in how the hero's mind works later. This is edited out here in the new version.
The songs could have been better placed in the film. One is still awaiting T K Rajeevkumar's streak of brilliance in ‘Kannezhuthi Pottum Thottu' to recur.
By Prema Manmadhan
As I entered the multiplex screening room, all eyes followed me to my seat somewhere in the middle. Wondering if I had forgotten some part of my attire, I looked around stealthily and suddenly, there was a Eureka moment. I was the only female in the packed cinema on the first day first show to see the remake of ‘Rathinirvedam'!
I realised that even in a multiplex, catcalls can happen.
The Bharathan-Padmarajan movie of the late seventies was BOLD in that age, when soft porn sold. But this was not soft porn. It dealt boldly with a topic not publicly discussed, that Padmarajan wrote sensitively about and Bharathan made intelligently.
Comparisons
The new ‘Rathinirvedam,' under the banner of Revathi Kalamandir, is directed by T. K. Rajeevkumar. Suresh Kumar (the man behind Revathy Kalamandir) also produced ‘Neelathamara', a remake, which Lal Jose directed. But its script was rewritten by MT to include the present too.
Comparisons are always unwelcome, yet, looking at what was a topical film in 1978, ‘Rathinirvedam', which is today, a period film, can be interesting.
‘Rathinirvedam' is P.Padmarajan's script all over again, with very few changes in the dialogues: the locale has been shifted from the hilly areas to the plains. One crucial change is that the young adolescent, played by Krishnachandran, with a tell tale moustache, and shorts, has changed to a young man, wearing either a ‘mundu' or trousers, whose clean shaven face gives away his age.
While Krishnachandran's new discoveries of life and the sexual awakening in his mind looked natural, for a chap who is older, that is, Sreejith, (though he gives of his best) it hardly looks natural. The simple reason is that in the script that Padmarajan wrote, the boy is younger, adventurous adolescence personified. That's why. All those capers that the boy gets involved in, is natural for a boy that age, but looks strange in an older guy.
Svelte Shwetha
A calendar in the hero (Sreejith Vijay) Pappu's room of the Dreamgirl, Hema Malini, pronounces the period loud. The sepia tinted credits, along with a handwritten letter on the sidelines, are a great opener. Shwetha Menon, svelte and big built, with lovely long hair, too thick to be realistic, has the come hither look of ‘Rathi Chechi' but her body language is urban and the dialogue delivery is not realistic. Cut to the first ‘Rathinirvedam' and Jayabharathi's ‘naadan' beauty, her natural behaviour and dialogue delivery. The half sari on Jayabharathi looked lovely, while on Shwetha, it is more of an appendage.
The Central Travancore dialect is best spoken by Shobha Mohan who takes the role of Pappu's mother, and of course KPAC Lalitha. She used to take a cameo role in most of her husband's films and played the hero's aunt then. In the new version, she plays the heroine's mother. She is the only artiste featuring in both.
Coming to the crux of the film: the climax that made the headlines then. In an age when the Net had not taken over our lives, it was a draw for young men of all shades. These scenes were crisply picturised, with emotions dominating. The pain in Jayabharathi's face tore your heart. In the new one, the scenes linger longer, but the result is not the same. Sreejith's performance in the last scene, after the climax, deserves much credit.
Padmarajan's script is tight and every dialogue and scene has a reason. Editing out some scenes and dialogues to shorten the movie will only harm the total effect. For instance, there is a drama scene. After that an incident happens, which plays a big role in how the hero's mind works later. This is edited out here in the new version.
The songs could have been better placed in the film. One is still awaiting T K Rajeevkumar's streak of brilliance in ‘Kannezhuthi Pottum Thottu' to recur.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Priyanandanan making films that matter
Published in Metroplus, Kochi dated May 12
By PREMA MANMADHAN
In the entertainment industry, what happens if every movie that is released is slapstick? Or, serious tragedies, or issue-based ones, one after another? Or cloying romance, in a line? Yes, we would all get bored.
So every movie has space, as everyone wants a mixed entertainment experience. The different genre of Priyanandanan's fourth directorial venture, ‘Bhakthajanangalude Sraddhakku' gets into an interesting bracket. It's a satire, the parallels not very difficult to gauge.
Burning issue
Two burning issues that rock Kerala are locked into ‘Bhakthajanangalude Sraddhakku'. One is the trend to build empires around godmen and godwomen and the other, the problem of alcoholism, and how lives are ruined. Intertwined with these two topical issues is the global issue of corruption, which plays a side role in the movie.
Priyanandanan tells it straight, there are no sub-plots to distract you. Neither is the narrative made complex by flashbacks or incomprehensible cinematic grammar. Why this subject? Says Priyanandanan, “This fad of going behind godmen is something that's happening all over Kerala and I felt the masses needed to be told about the goings on inside these institutionalised places, and the misconceptions, whatever the religion. Piety is something very different. What better way to drive home this point than cinema?”
Religion and complications that develop in connection with it seem to dog Priyanandanan's movies. In ‘Sufi Paranja Katha', his last film, it was a case of a woman married to a man from a different religion and the role played by faith, inculcated at an early age into a person. In ‘Bhakathajanangalude Sraddhakku', again it is faith, but born of superstition and mob psychology. Alcoholism is the catalyst that takes the story to its climax.
The low budget movie is to be seen, digested and pondered over. Kavya Madhavan plays the central character, a role that is the envy of any actor, where a plethora of emotions come into play. She has done fairly well, but could have done much better.
Casting
Irshad, the guy who plays the lead, who came in from the stage, steals the show. Untouched by the stylised body language of the stage, Irshad has taken to the cinematic language of ordinary behaviour well. “I was able to use the potential of Irshad only because the producer allowed me to cast him, an actor who has had to play small roles so far,” says Priyanandan. The cast of ‘Bhakthajangalude Shraddakku' incudes Indrans, Kalabhavan Mani, Vanitha, Geetha Vijayan and a host of small time actors who have given of their best. The story that keeps its freshness and purposefulness alive till the fag end suddenly turns melodramatic in the finale. Bijibal's background score is commendable and the sound track has freshness. The three songs contribute to the narration, one will agree.
Priyanandanan, who has a staunch stage background has proved his mettle with his earlier movies. ‘Pulijanmam' bagged the National award for the Best Feature Film in 2006 and its protagonist was Murali. Murali won the National Award for Best Actor for his performance in ‘Neythukaran', also Priyanandanan's film.
By PREMA MANMADHAN
In the entertainment industry, what happens if every movie that is released is slapstick? Or, serious tragedies, or issue-based ones, one after another? Or cloying romance, in a line? Yes, we would all get bored.
So every movie has space, as everyone wants a mixed entertainment experience. The different genre of Priyanandanan's fourth directorial venture, ‘Bhakthajanangalude Sraddhakku' gets into an interesting bracket. It's a satire, the parallels not very difficult to gauge.
Burning issue
Two burning issues that rock Kerala are locked into ‘Bhakthajanangalude Sraddhakku'. One is the trend to build empires around godmen and godwomen and the other, the problem of alcoholism, and how lives are ruined. Intertwined with these two topical issues is the global issue of corruption, which plays a side role in the movie.
Priyanandanan tells it straight, there are no sub-plots to distract you. Neither is the narrative made complex by flashbacks or incomprehensible cinematic grammar. Why this subject? Says Priyanandanan, “This fad of going behind godmen is something that's happening all over Kerala and I felt the masses needed to be told about the goings on inside these institutionalised places, and the misconceptions, whatever the religion. Piety is something very different. What better way to drive home this point than cinema?”
Religion and complications that develop in connection with it seem to dog Priyanandanan's movies. In ‘Sufi Paranja Katha', his last film, it was a case of a woman married to a man from a different religion and the role played by faith, inculcated at an early age into a person. In ‘Bhakathajanangalude Sraddhakku', again it is faith, but born of superstition and mob psychology. Alcoholism is the catalyst that takes the story to its climax.
The low budget movie is to be seen, digested and pondered over. Kavya Madhavan plays the central character, a role that is the envy of any actor, where a plethora of emotions come into play. She has done fairly well, but could have done much better.
Casting
Irshad, the guy who plays the lead, who came in from the stage, steals the show. Untouched by the stylised body language of the stage, Irshad has taken to the cinematic language of ordinary behaviour well. “I was able to use the potential of Irshad only because the producer allowed me to cast him, an actor who has had to play small roles so far,” says Priyanandan. The cast of ‘Bhakthajangalude Shraddakku' incudes Indrans, Kalabhavan Mani, Vanitha, Geetha Vijayan and a host of small time actors who have given of their best. The story that keeps its freshness and purposefulness alive till the fag end suddenly turns melodramatic in the finale. Bijibal's background score is commendable and the sound track has freshness. The three songs contribute to the narration, one will agree.
Priyanandanan, who has a staunch stage background has proved his mettle with his earlier movies. ‘Pulijanmam' bagged the National award for the Best Feature Film in 2006 and its protagonist was Murali. Murali won the National Award for Best Actor for his performance in ‘Neythukaran', also Priyanandanan's film.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Case against Mommies
By Prema Manmadhan, published in The Hindu metroplus in 2004 on Mother's day
When it can be `Papa don't preach' it can be a case against pushy Ammas too. On Mother's Day, which falls on May 9, Mommies, think hard, think rationally!
WHEN IS it NOT Mother's Day, pray? Only when emotional blackmail fails to move family members. Otherwise Ammas all have their way and queen it over the family, only they won't admit it. The word `mother' evokes all that is honey-dewy in literature and the puranas. One mother used to get her children round by chanting, `Mata pita guru deivam' at every given opportunity. Her logic was that the mother came first even before the Almighty, from puranic days!
True, there's nothing like maternal instincts. `Sacrifice', some of them call the things they do so that their children get better opportunities than they did, in their childhood. But could it be selfishness, by any means? To show people that their children did better than others'? Or as psychologists say, to see their dreams fulfilled in their children? Bad analysis, mothers may think, when all mothers bend backwards to give their children the very best.
But there are other instincts inherent in many mothers that are not very flattering, that sets a bad example to the child. Only, nobody wants to talk about the bad mother. It's something like this: In an obituary, people skip all those instances when the guy really made a pest of himself. On Mother's Day, too, people do the same. They say and write all that's positive and sweep the negative aspects under the carpet. Look at these new age pushy mamas who will not give their two-and-a-half year old peace till she/he parrots what her/his age, name and colour of her dress, all in preparation for the interview to enter the Kindergarten class. Once that is through, it would be tortuous motivation techniques to surpass every other child in the class; Packing into tiny minds what they cannot take till the tears take over.
"But that is because I love my child very much. It must not be seen in that light. True, psychologists do say it is bad to push a child, but one cannot risk not doing it. If she does not study hard enough now, she will continue in the same vein and what will we do when she reaches Class 10," asks Preetha Vinod, whose daughter Bhadra, is entering Std I.
Elizabeth Tony, a bank officer, on the other hand, says she took leave when her son had his Class 10 exams. He would lounge on the sofa and listen while she read out the portions. Of course, she had the added responsibility of checking, every now and then to see if he was nodding. If this was not maternal love, what is, she thought. Later, in college, she would check his every move to see that he went in the right direction and did not fall into bad company. This so irritated the boy that he considered his mother to be his arch enemy, and even stopped talking to her.
It took prayers, reasoning, counselling and luck to bring the mother and son back together again.
Till the other day, it was studies, studies all the way, but today, the extra curricular activities matter when it comes to professional courses too. The poor mother tries hard to detect the slightest extra curricular interest in her darling and sends the child to sundry tuitions during vacation. And at the youth festivals she feels it is love that drives her to near fisticuffs to ensure her son's or daughter's victory. That another child might have done better than hers, is a possibility she cannot consider. Blinded by love, perhaps, but again, a bad example.
Alas, in that mad scramble to see that Sonny reaches first, she makes painful comparisons too. "Look at Ramu next door. He has never got less than 100 in his Maths papers. Why can't you be like him?" Mothers, beware, this is a sure ticket to get into the bad books of your precious progeny.
And when they turn into young men and women, and will not bend down to have their bottoms spanked, comes the threat, "You will do it (whatever) over my dead body". Nowadays, few take these protestations seriously. They do it, and mostly not over their dead bodies!!
But, take heart. Mothers almost always have their way. Long faces, `moun vriths' and mutterings are the modus operandi. Hap... hap... Happy Mother's Day.
When it can be `Papa don't preach' it can be a case against pushy Ammas too. On Mother's Day, which falls on May 9, Mommies, think hard, think rationally!
WHEN IS it NOT Mother's Day, pray? Only when emotional blackmail fails to move family members. Otherwise Ammas all have their way and queen it over the family, only they won't admit it. The word `mother' evokes all that is honey-dewy in literature and the puranas. One mother used to get her children round by chanting, `Mata pita guru deivam' at every given opportunity. Her logic was that the mother came first even before the Almighty, from puranic days!
True, there's nothing like maternal instincts. `Sacrifice', some of them call the things they do so that their children get better opportunities than they did, in their childhood. But could it be selfishness, by any means? To show people that their children did better than others'? Or as psychologists say, to see their dreams fulfilled in their children? Bad analysis, mothers may think, when all mothers bend backwards to give their children the very best.
But there are other instincts inherent in many mothers that are not very flattering, that sets a bad example to the child. Only, nobody wants to talk about the bad mother. It's something like this: In an obituary, people skip all those instances when the guy really made a pest of himself. On Mother's Day, too, people do the same. They say and write all that's positive and sweep the negative aspects under the carpet. Look at these new age pushy mamas who will not give their two-and-a-half year old peace till she/he parrots what her/his age, name and colour of her dress, all in preparation for the interview to enter the Kindergarten class. Once that is through, it would be tortuous motivation techniques to surpass every other child in the class; Packing into tiny minds what they cannot take till the tears take over.
"But that is because I love my child very much. It must not be seen in that light. True, psychologists do say it is bad to push a child, but one cannot risk not doing it. If she does not study hard enough now, she will continue in the same vein and what will we do when she reaches Class 10," asks Preetha Vinod, whose daughter Bhadra, is entering Std I.
Elizabeth Tony, a bank officer, on the other hand, says she took leave when her son had his Class 10 exams. He would lounge on the sofa and listen while she read out the portions. Of course, she had the added responsibility of checking, every now and then to see if he was nodding. If this was not maternal love, what is, she thought. Later, in college, she would check his every move to see that he went in the right direction and did not fall into bad company. This so irritated the boy that he considered his mother to be his arch enemy, and even stopped talking to her.
It took prayers, reasoning, counselling and luck to bring the mother and son back together again.
Till the other day, it was studies, studies all the way, but today, the extra curricular activities matter when it comes to professional courses too. The poor mother tries hard to detect the slightest extra curricular interest in her darling and sends the child to sundry tuitions during vacation. And at the youth festivals she feels it is love that drives her to near fisticuffs to ensure her son's or daughter's victory. That another child might have done better than hers, is a possibility she cannot consider. Blinded by love, perhaps, but again, a bad example.
Alas, in that mad scramble to see that Sonny reaches first, she makes painful comparisons too. "Look at Ramu next door. He has never got less than 100 in his Maths papers. Why can't you be like him?" Mothers, beware, this is a sure ticket to get into the bad books of your precious progeny.
And when they turn into young men and women, and will not bend down to have their bottoms spanked, comes the threat, "You will do it (whatever) over my dead body". Nowadays, few take these protestations seriously. They do it, and mostly not over their dead bodies!!
But, take heart. Mothers almost always have their way. Long faces, `moun vriths' and mutterings are the modus operandi. Hap... hap... Happy Mother's Day.
Labels:
bad mothers,
comparisons,
counselling,
flattering,
love,
maternal instincts,
Mother's Day
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